No Joy

I’ve been having a really hard time with the kids lately. Maybe it’s the lack of sleep that is catching up to me or maybe it’s the new phase that my son is in with his non-stop questions and constant battle for attention between him and his sister or maybe it’s me not spending any time with God recently… or maybe it’s a combination of all of the above and then some.
In any case I haven’t been able to get much joy out of my days with my kids recently. Plus, every time my phone rings and I see it’s our realtor my face cringes as I pick up because I know we have another appointment to show the house. I know I should be happy that we have a fairly constant number of showings but the cleaning up and getting us out of the house is really starting to wear on me. And unfortunately despite all the showings we still haven’t gotten even one offer yet.
I’m losing my patience easily with my kids, I’m desperate to get away and escape with a new book in my hands, and I’m so freaking tired during the days I could cry. I know this is just a phase and it will probably pass but I feel so conflicted inside with being so irritated during the days and at the same time feeling terrible the way my attitude is with the kids.
I think I need to start setting up some play dates and attending our mommy prayer meetings again too. I’ve stopped doing that for a couple weeks and I’m beginning to see just how much I still need the interaction with others the during the day and how my kids could probably use some play time with other kids too.
Don’t worry Mom and Mom… it’s really not as bad as this post may seem… I think I just need to get some stuff off my chest as I’m sitting here on the couch lost in my thoughts while the kids are napping.

A Little Moderation

I went to the library recently looking for a certain book but they didn’t have it in stock so as I browsed around looking for what else to borrow I saw the Twilight series books. I know it’s gotten a lot of hype but all I knew about it was that it’s a love story about vampires and that just didn’t intrigue me at all. But since it was available and I was running out of time I went ahead and checked out the first book in the series.
Well, thank goodness I was going to my parents place with the kids that weekend because as soon as I picked up the book and started reading it I couldn’t put it down. I have no idea what we did that weekend I just remember always trying to steal away to read my book.
I have just finished the second book in the series and once again I got so obsessed with reading the book and wanting to finish it I’m surprised that I was even able to feed the kids let alone entertain them. I was going to bed really late and reading all through their naps and even their tv time!
It was after going to bed around 1:30am one night while reading the book that it really hit me that I need to read in moderation. It’s not healthy for me and probably not so good for the kids either.
I think the last book I read was the last book in the Harry Potter series and I think I was the exact same way. (Yes, that was a very long time ago. And no, Twilight does not hold a candle to the HP series) Books just tend to suck me in and I can’t put them down til I’m finished with them. I’ve really enjoyed reading again though and it’s been a nice escape from the craziness of chasing around 2 kids and trying to keep our house clean at the same time.
Hubby has told me that I need to start pacing myself or he’s going to start taking the books to work with him during they day and snatching it out of my hands by a certain time at night. And I agree. And he’ll be even happier to know that there is a wait for the last two books in the series so there will be a break for a little while in my obsessive reading.
Until then, I will continue to re-read snippets of the first two books and maybe I will pick up my bible reading again. Now that’s a book that I am very good at reading in moderation… haha.