Options

I’m starting to get excited as I begin to think and do more research on some of the things I would like to pursue after my kids are all in school.  I graduated with a bachelor’s degree in Mechanical Engineering but most of the things that I think about doing now have nothing to do with that.  Lots of people ask me if I want to go back to it and to them I emphatically say no. I just did not enjoy work as a ME very much.  Besides, I haven’t kept up with it at all and so it would be very hard to catch up with all the new technology and brush up on my ME skills (whatever that may be, I’m not even sure).  There are some more practical friends that feel it is kind of waste to go away from what I spent my 4 years in college and post college doing. But for me I am happy to get away from it and start fresh. And to some extent, my college years and work has taught me that I am capable of learning a new skill with some hard work and effort.

There is of course my endless thought of learning how to play guitar and hopefully someday I’ll be able to strum some praise songs that the family could sing together.    

Another option I thought of is learning Quickbooks and helping out M’s company with their accounting and payroll because that could be a way of me helping out and getting involved a little more if I wanted to.

Then I also still think about pursuing Christian counseling.  Or maybe taking some lay counseling classes and use that maybe in a church.

And when I think about it some more there is one aspect that I really did enjoy about ME and that was doing CAD design/drawings.  I really enjoyed figuring out the different softwares to create 3D models and if I could get some freelance projects to help create CAD drawings from home I think I would really enjoy that.  

As I think about all these options it occurs to me that I am turning into a dreamer (which I usually am not at all and it’s exciting) but I am not a do-er (which is not so good). I’ve had my guitar for 3-4 years and I still can only play the same 3 chords and one strumming pattern that I learned back in college from my brother. I’ve thought about learning Quickbooks about 6 months ago, played around with it a little and flipped through a tutorial and never looked at it again. Since then, M’s company has hired an accountant to do everything for them. Someone recently just asked me if I could whip up a CAD drawing for her new store in a weekend and I politely said no because I don’t even have a computer or any of the CAD software at home. M suggested Google Sketchup and I said, nah, I don’t want to learn it that weekend.

Maybe I need to set some goals for myself or have some external motivation to get myself moving, like paying for some classes. In the meantime, this daydreaming has been fun as I make a bazillion bucks in my head off of my part-time CAD drawings and part-time counseling work…

My middle child

My daughter, C, is my middle child. My husband has a soft spot for her as he is also the middle child in his family. It is very rare that she has any alone time with mommy or daddy. By the time my oldest started preschool my youngest was already born. Daddy has tried to have some one on one father – daughter time by taking her out for donuts every Friday last year after dropping J off at school. But she is such a generous spirit and has never known what it’s like to be without either her older brother or younger sister that she almost always invites her younger sister to join her donuts with daddy time.

But for me, she is my most difficult kid. She is my first girl and she is all girl. I don’t mind the princesses and sparkle and glitter but what is hard for me to deal with is the whining and the tears that never end and the drama queen in her. I am impatient with her and have a low tolerance for all things whiny and too much crying over every little bump and scrape.

She was supposed to start in a pre-k program this fall and I was looking forward to having her and her brother in school and the ease of just having one kid at home full time. But as it turns out there has been a lot of delays in the start of her pre-k program and so she is at home with me everyday along with her younger sister. I thought it might kill me to have both girls at home every day when I was expecting her to be in school already.

But having her at home with me every day has turned out so much better than I ever could have expected. The two girls play so well together and they enjoy each other’s company so much that they can entertain themselves for hours playing together. And now when my youngest, K, goes down to take a nap I have some one on one time with C. I try and make a conscious effort to spend quality time with her during this time. We will do homework together, prep and cook for dinner together, and just recently we looked through my jewelry together and organized it. That time of being alone with her has done so much for our relationship. We get along so much better, she whines less, and I don’t get as easily annoyed at her. I think she and I both really enjoy our one on one time together.

It is true what people say about kids… they act out a lot of times because they are just looking to get more attention and be noticed. I love my daughter and spending some time with C has helped me to notice her more and helped both of us to see how much I enjoy spending time with just her.