Prompting

I completely lost it yesterday at church.  It was embarrassing. I was pretty much hyperventilating, I couldn’t control myself.  The sermon was on intercessory prayer and it convicted me of so much.  More than just needing to pray for others it convicted me of so much that is lacking in my own life.  My life of abundance and waste.  I felt so convicted and needing to ask God for forgiveness of my unrepentant, self-serving heart.  I felt overwhelmed as I partook in communion.

I am not a person that prays well.  I’m hardly even a person that prays.  But recently I have been feeling the Spirit prodding me to pray for others.  My life is… going well.  I am not in the battlefield and I certainly have the time and energy to pray for others but it is so inconsistent.  And today I felt God prompting me to do so much more, starting with prayer.  To learn how to pray, to learn to pray well for others, to make space and time for Him and to put my lackadaisical attitude away in so many areas of my life.  I have been given so much and yet I do so little with it.  I am so easily overcome with fear and anxiety that I can hardly take one step into the unknown.  While doing my devotions this morning I was reminded of God’s power and grace even in my imperfections and weaknesses.

Today I am hopeful.  I wonder what tomorrow (and the days to come) will bring.