Happy Anniversary

We are celebrating 16 years today. I have been with M for more than half my life now. I started dating him at the ripe old age of 18, married at 23. Now we are middle aged and have three kids and a dog. When we were young I used to think we were so similar and so compatible. 10 years into our marriage I remember commenting to him how we are so different – how did that happen?  Now that we are older I feel like we are even more different. He is spontaneous and adventurous, I like my schedules and routines and prone to anxiety.  He is a visionary, big picture kind of guy, I am more detail oriented and like to check the boxes off my checklist. He is social, I am less so. He is at ease in large crowds, I want to blend in with the wallpaper.  He lives to eat, I eat to live. And the list of opposites could go on.   These differences can cause conflict but more often than not it is complementary.  As M so succinctly puts it – different in personality but similar in temperament.  I can look at our differences now and appreciate them.

We do also share similarities – in the big things that matter to us.  We love the Lord and we love our family (dog included) and shared values that are important to us. I am thankful for him in my life. We have changed a lot in the years we’ve been together and I look back and am thankful at how far we’ve come.  I can also look forward and be excited for our future together.

Hiking with my dog

I was talking to my husband the other day about how walking our dog is becoming such a chore for me. Maybe partly because I walk the same path morning, noon, and night – day after day. Needless to say, I’m a creature of habit.  Even though we’ve had our dog for two years now I’ve hardly ventured out with her during the day.  I looked up some dog friendly hiking trails (there are a lot here) and the next morning I drove to Getty View Park for a 3 mile hike with my dog.  I was worried that it would be too long of a hike so I loaded up my phone with podcasts and my backpack with plenty of water and snacks.

It started off a bit slow because my dog was sniffing around and stopping every 2 feet and I couldn’t get into the first podcast but soon enough I found myself enjoying the hike so much that at the end I felt it was over too soon and I wanted to keep hiking the day away.  It was freeing and and refreshing and invigorating – and bonus, I didn’t have to walk my dog around my neighborhood for the rest of the day.  I binge listened to a series of podcasts and found myself weepy (as I am so prone to nowadays) and encouraged at the same time.  I can’t wait to go on another hike with my dog again this week.  Now I need to find another new trail to venture out on, because I am very tempted to go back to the same trail again.

PTA

I’m thinking about joining the PTA. Or at least attending a meeting.

I have so much free time during the week when my kids are in school. In the beginning of the school year after a whole summer with the kids I’m so thankful to have time to myself that I just indulge myself in doing nothing but relaxing and reading and running errands. But as usual, I start to get a little bored as the months go on and I start to get antsy wanting to do something to fill up my time. It’s hard for me to initiate anything and start doing something and putting a thought or idea in motion. But once I get over the initial hump then I am good to go. I spend a lot of my mornings by myself and I am actually very happy as an introvert but when I crawl out of my shell I am also just as happy because I still need people in my life.

I am hesitant about going. When my kids were young and my oldest had started kindergarten I just didn’t have the energy or the babysitters to get involved in school besides volunteering in the classroom here and there. By the time my youngest began kindergarten and my oldest was in 4th grade it just seemed easier to not get involved outside of classroom help. Now, my oldest has already matriculated out of elementary school and my youngest is in 2nd grade. By this time I feel there is an in-crowd with the PTA/super involved parents and if you’re not in it, well you’re definitely on the outside. It is hard to penetrate through and I’m not sure if it is worth the effort. I wondered if all this insecurity is just in my head. I was talking to a friend about how I’ve been feeling and she encouraged me that while there is definitely a culture within the PTA moms, if i put myself out there she is sure there are ways they would love to have me get involved. To be honest I’m not super interested in it either but at this point I’ve got to stop coming up with excuses and just do something. I’ve marked the next meeting on my calendar. Here’s to showing up for it.

Fevers and flu

Its 10:30am on a Thursday and I’m still in bed reading a book (My True Love Gave to Me – 12 Holiday Stories, if you were curious).  Next to me is my son who is asleep and staying home today with a headache and fever.  Today I am happy for his company.  Sure I could be up and about doing more this week but I’m giving myself a pass to just be.  It’ll get busier as the day goes on when he wakes up and the girls come home.

It is now exactly a week later and my son is still sick and staying home from school.  It’s been a rough winter season for illnesses.  I’m a little more tired and rundown and he’s getting a littler more restless and clingy but I am still thankful that he is home with me this week.  Maybe I also am feeling a little clingy and needy or maybe I have gotten used to him being home with me all day now. My son will probably go back to school tomorrow but it seems like God still wants me to have company because my youngest came home from school this morning with a fever of 102.  And quite surprisingly I’m okay with taking care of another sick kid for however long.  In some weird way I think God is using this time to heal me too.