There is an ache and a heaviness in my heart today. It’s a “hard to get out of bed” kind of day. I haven’t felt this in a long while and I forget how painful it is. I am surprised and embarrassed by the old man and his dog triggering this. First anger and then anxiety. Not so much that it has brought about these strong emotions but by how long the effects of it has lasted on me. I miss my kids at school and I miss my husband at work this morning.
Yet there is still much to be thankful for. I reached out and leaned on friends that willingly put aside their time to spend their day with me and keep me company. I shared with my husband my anxieties and he listened with loving patience and understanding even though we are wired so differently. I am so thankful for my mom who has such a fierce love for me and is angry with me and would stick up for me in a heartbeat. In all these people God has shown me in such a tangible way His love for me. It has drawn me to my knees and in a puddle of tears but still I am grateful. I know this is only for a short period of time and that it will pass and to be honest I’m looking forward to that too and being thankful that it’s over.
I feel the need to blog 
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